Handfasting- a Different Kind of Wedding
03rd October 2006
Wicca is a nature-based religion that is polytheistic and worships divinity in both male and female forms- God and Goddess. Wiccans revere the Earth and believe they must give to the community. Wiccans do not believe in Satan, or "the Devil", although they are often accused of being Satan- worshippers.
A Handfasting ceremony is often referred to as a "Wiccan wedding". The ceremony may or may not be legally binding, and can be for a "year and a day" (a "trial); for "as long as love lasts"; or two souls may be united for "the rest of this lifetime and for all subsequent lifetimes to follow", since Wiccans believe in reincarnation.
For a handfasting to be a legally binding wedding, a marriage license must be obtained, and the person officiating must be legally able to perform wedding ceremonies. In Florida, where I live, a notary public may perform a marriage. There is no "church" or set place where this ceremony must take place- it can be done at a gathering at a park, at a private home, in a metaphysical store with an area for meetings, or an elaborate occasion at a formal dining hall, with a meeting room used for the ceremony.
The handfasting ritual starts with the consecration of sacred space, usually by the casting of a circle. As soon as this is done, the man and woman present their wrists to the officiator, and are tied together with a red cord. There is no set liturgy and no "magic words" that must be said- most often, the person presiding has known the couple for some time, and speaks about the couple, giving anecdotes and stories that illustrate their love for each other and any challenges that the couple has overcome in their life together. The traditional "speak now or forever hold your piece" invocation found at most Christian weddings is usually not used. Nor are the terms "love honor and OBEY" pledged by the bride, as the man and woman are viewed as equals. Others in attendance may also speak about the couple and their relationship.
Often, the symbolic "great Rite" is included in the handfasting. The couple stand together, facing each other, with the woman holding a goblet or chalice and the man holding a ritual knife known as an athame. The words "as the athame is to the male, so the cup is to the female, and conjoined they bring blessedness!" are recited by the couple, and the man lower the knife into the cup. The athame and cup are symbolic for the male and female genitalia; hence this is symbolic of the sex act. Wiccans believe that sex is a beautiful thing, not something just for procreation, or something to be embarrassed or ashamed about! Afterwards, music is sometimes played and/or sung- perhaps a song that one spouse wrote for the other, or the couple's "favorite song".
At the end of the handfasting ritual, couples often jump over the broom if they want children. They say that if you don't want children, DON'T JUMP! The combination of the "brush" and the handle are a very powerful fertility symbol. However, my husband and I jumped the broom when we were handfasted in 2001, and to date, no children have sprung from our union. After the ritual is over, there is usually feasting, drinking and merriment, just like after most weddings.
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Dottye is a Realtor, an Internet Marketer, and a published Author of three books, and several short stories and songs.