A Thoughtful Plan Can Diffuse the Power Struggle

Does the thought of asking your child to move on to their
next activity unnerve you?

Picture this: Your child comes home from school and heads
straight for the playroom, excited to spend some time with
their new Star Wars action figures or Barbie Doll. They
play for an hour; you can hear their squeals of delight from
the kitchen as you're preparing dinner. And then, the
moment you dread… it's time to call your child to dinner.
The battle begins.

You call once, no reply. You call again only to be greeted
with "In a minute, Mom!" and then "Just a sec" or worse, an
exasperated "Okay – I'm coming!" and no hungry child
appearing at the table. As the food grows cold, your
internal temperature rises until you swear you could reheat
the soup just by sticking your finger in it – and still no
hungry child at the table.

In childcare, transition times are when you are trying to
help children finish an activity or daily routine and move
on to another one. During free play, children will often
be very engaged in their chosen activity and they will find
it difficult to abruptly stop what they are doing. The same
holds true for any favorite activity – playing the piano,
talking on the phone with friends or even listening to the
new Green Day CD.

Transitioning from one activity to another is often a
difficult time in child care settings. But there's no
reason to throw in the towel and admit defeat. Transitions
can be transformed into positive experiences by a solid
upfront plan. Preparation is your best friend in engaging
your child in transition activities.

Transitional activities can be positive and exciting ways of
moving children from one activity to another. They can make
finishing one activity and moving on to another activity a
learning experience and an adventure.

Let's look at our free play example and incorporate a simple
technique to smooth your child's transition from playtime to
dinner time. You may find it helpful to give them a warning
that playtime will soon be over. Instead of calling out
"five more minutes," ensure your child has heard you by
going directly to them and saying "You have time for one
more checkers game. Dinner is in five minutes."

The warning serves two purposes:
1. It clearly sets a plan for your child to follow (only one
more game) and
2. It shifts your child's focus from the current activity to
the new one.

Some children may take longer to stop one activity and move
on to the next. Even with fair warning, many children will
be reluctant to stop playing in favor of doing homework,
having dinner, or taking a bath. If your child is unable to
switch gears quickly, it is helpful to give this type of
child ten-minute, five-minute and one-minute warnings before
a change. This allows them to gradually prepare for the
shift.

Transition times and activities differ from child to child
and even activity to activity. You may find that your child
transitions quickly from playtime to a pizza dinner but
drags their feet when transitioning from t.v. time to bed
time. Knowledge from your child's past transitions and
understanding of your child and their feelings is the
foundation on which to build your transition strategy.
Some of the following may raise your insights towards
transition:

1. How is my child behaving/feeling?

Anxiety: For some children, change (even simple change) is
often difficult. Ease the child's anxiety, and resistance
to change diminishes significantly.

Anger: Leaving an enjoyable activity for a less enjoyable
activity often results in anger in the child. Setting a
time to resume the enjoyable activity or devising creative
transition activities (a song or role playing) can help
diffuse the child's tension.

Control: When parents understand the temperament of their
children, it's easier to control the transition process.
Transition activities for a 2 year old differ greatly from
those of a 12 year old. Keep your child's temperament and
age in mind when planning transition strategies.

2. How are these behaviors/feelings addressed?

Identification: Mindful observation of your child's positive
and negative transitions can yield important clues to help
smooth future transitions.

Minimize impacts: Timely and calming approaches to
transitions create a sense of routine and security for your
child.

Model healthy patterns of transition: Children emulate the
people they love. Sometimes teaching your child healthy
transition behaviors is as simple as modeling them yourself.

3. How do you sustain good behaviors?

Awareness: Build upon your child's strengths and successful
transitions.

Support: Recognize your child's weaknesses and alter your
strategy in dealing with them.

Remember: Always try to think about your plan to transition
before you begin the dialogue'.